Amazing Grace

Hey ya'll I just wanted to write a little blurb on some Truth that has really been breathed into my soul these past couple of days. I've come to find that my anxiety over my faith and my relationship with Christ rested in the fact that I was focusing on what Christ could do for me and not what I was meant to do for Christ. Do not misunderstand me, I know that it is by faith and not works that I am saved. However as Britney pointed out in our early monday morning meeting that to work in faith for the Lord reaps a lot of blessings and truth that our Lord wants to give us. So what am I trying to say? I've found that when I focus on loving others and focus finding their beautiful fruits of the Spirit that I truly "see the face of God" (quote taken from Les Miserables). All this was only solidified when I finished reading the book, "Humility: True Greatness" by C. J. Mahaney.

"On one occasion, a relative of Dave (dying from cancer) was visiting, a man who was not a Christian. As he watched Sharon caring for Dave and thought about Dave's relative youth and the children he would leave behind, anger seemed to well up from within him - anger directed at the God whom Dave and Sharon were professing to believe in.

He asked Sharon, "Why aren't you angry?"

She turned to him and answered with the true of the gospel: "Dave deserved hell for his sins, just like you and me, and yet God, in His mercy, forgave him because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Dave is going to heaven," she said. "How could I be angry at God for taking him to heaven?" (Mahaney, 2005, pp. 150-151)

This passage sent chills up my spine. The posture I must/need/will take is humility towards my God. I feel so incredibly humbled and realize just how amazing blessed I am not only to be alive in the Lord but to be given so much on top of that, friends, family, good health, this internship, life (thanksgiving could not have come at a better time!), good food, college... I could go on and on. Yet, I am a sinner, I deserve to die for my sin, my ugly sin that keeps me from being with Christ. The Cross has so much more meaning for me then I will ever truly be able to grasp. All I can think to do it follow the God who has set me free from pride (though I know I will regress while still on this earth). My heart is singing praises right now, if only I could express the holy, inexhaustible joy of knowing that I deserve to die but Christ died for me, so that I didn't have too. The grace that God has for his children is beautiful.

But here to I can relate to Paul's lament:

"21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:21-25

This is Truth. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Lord,
Thank you for the many blessing you have poured out on such undeserving children, your love is holy. I pray Thanksgiving for your grace and that I may delight in it for the rest of my days. Your face is beautiful to me. I pray for the discipline of humility.

Amen.

Love,
Sister Leslie

PS: I realize my little blurb turned into a big blurb. :)

heart reaction

This is delayed, but reading Monique’s post motivated me to share where my heart is at this very moment...

I’m trying this fasting business. I’ve had amazing experiences with it in the past, yet I’m really stuggling with it this time. I feel like I don’t have time for this. Simply cutting coffee out of my life for just a few days, and I feel like I can’t function. Is it forcing me to rely on Him…or am I just adapting my schedule to make sure I can survive. Why am I doing this again?? I want to know you!! But I don’t want it to cost me anything. Lame! Is my heart really benefitting from this? I feel like if I were more awake I would be able to soak in my time with Him in the morning, and take in the info from class and really engage in the lives of my classmates. That’s the reality of it. Am I just a wuss? Should I be experiencing His supernatural energy?? Is it wrong to be reliant on caffeine? I just want to hear from Him. I don’t feel like I function as a sheep that hears His voice. I’ve experienced that life, able to hear His sweet whispers. I miss it. I feel like I’m getting sucked up in the mess of life.

Knowing I'm still in His arms,
Brittany

RETURN

I have a choice today to be Holy Spirit filled or myself filled. It’s a no-brainer in my head, of course I want God to lead me and to be fully surrendered to my Lord Jesus Christ, but then I get out of bed. And it’s past 6am so there’s no time for a deep meaningful quiet time I’m already behind for the day. Excuses. Whispers. They say I live out what I truly believe not just what I say I believe, my actions speak louder than my good intentions, then I must think it’s all on me - no one has time to care. I’m in charge of my life and I better protect myself from all the a--holes and idiots out there who don’t care about me and want to take advantage of me and my family. Lies.

But God. God is here with me. He hears. He cares. He waits. He loves me no matter what I do or say today, or what I don’t do or say. Be with God. Listen. I have a choice who I’m listening to today and I’m pretty tired of listening to me. My plans and expectations are exhausting and never-ending and never done quite “right”. Bebo Norman sings, “I’m so tired of it being about me.” Tired. My friend Michael Dye spoke frankly to my heart and said, “It’s time to kill the bitch, Monique.” Perfectionism breeds hopelessness and strangles joy. Don’t let the Devil win anymore. I return to my Savior, my Redeemer, my Lover of my soul. “Oh, Father, forgive me! I did it again.” Forgiveness covers me as I’m held in the bosom of my Daddy, my Abba. Receive. I want to be vulnerable and fresh and alive with Christ’s Spirit. Live wildly for the Lord. So I will return often to His well of never-ending grace and love, and drink of Him throughout my day. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. His ways are higher than mine. May I believe God and live.

In His loving arms,
Sister Monique

“Wake up little girl. There’s a song to sing inside you. Wake up little girl. There’s a dance within your heart. You’re a miracle and all the world will someday want to know you. Wake up little girl, look inside and find True Love.” By Janet Planet