TRUST

2-20-2009

Geoff and I got to attend Forma last night and it was awesome! What gifted teachers our church has! THANK YOU, Caleb and Jay, for your important words on confession and being real and having a sincere heart with God! LOVE IT! And Joelle was inspiring too. God really connected some dots for me on starting to listen to him and not be so distracted.

Psalm 143 was read several times in different versions and we were asked to be quiet and listen. To hear what certain words or phrases jump out at us and meditate on it. I honed in on verse 8 “…for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” We were asked to dialogue with God about the word or words we were focusing on. Honestly, at that moment I couldn’t settle my thoughts down enough to hear God’s quiet whisper. But as we drove home Geoff shared the conversation he had with God and I immediately went to God in my thoughts and asked him, “Why don’t I trust you? Why don’t I believe what I say I believe about you?” God very sweetly spoke to me and said, “I’m not the angry Father you’ve made me out to be, Monique. You’ve believed lies against me and you’ve let your hurts consume you instead of my love.” I wept. God spoke to me just like that. He is here! He desires conversation and intimacy with me. Now the work of letting down my defensives I’ve built up for so long. God is trustworthy! It’s time I got that from knowing it in my head to living it out in my heart and life. God is a loving, forgiving, trustworthy Father, who will never leave me nor forsake me! His words are true! The journey begins of being vulnerable and receiving God’s love without any effort on my part. I trust God. Trust God. Believe God. God loves me.

What a Loving God we serve,
Sister Monique

I need to pray....

I need to pray, I need to pray, I need to pray, I NEED TO PRAY, I need to get on my knees and pray.

I need to pray.

I need to trust in the Lord.

I don't know what it is but I feel like I always freak out about my future. How faithless. Guilt likes to creep up on my like that, guilt that I lack the faith to be still and know that God is God.

Here is the situation. I have been accepted to the World Race. I felt bad when they called me this morning, I'm sure I didn't sound as excited as maybe they had hoped. I still can't decide if that was because I was sick (I have the flu) or because their acceptance is making it harder to discern where God is leading me.

Some background: Since high school I have wanted only to become a missionary. I tried to persuade my parents into allowing me to do a mission trip for a year before college. They said I had to graduate college before I could make decisions like that. I can't imagine myself doing anything else. However, how I would go about that missionary life has been educated and bent into different aspirations and ideas.

Anyways, I feel as though I have no direction. I am struggling with the temptation of impatience. I know God will answer the call and make my path's straight... in His own timing. But I don't want to wait! AHH! I'm so prideful to even think that I could be impatient with God. I find myself riddled with frustration.

I need to pray, I need to pray...

I need to be still.

I must say I praise God in other things. Like this morning when I was talking to my mom she said that both her and my dad know that I have a passion for missions in Africa and that they 100% support me. They've talked a lot about it and have come to terms, that although they believe it unsafe and scary, they support me. One piece to the puzzle. To this I truly say Hallelujah!

I want to go to Africa, I want to work with people, build relationships, lead unreached people groups to Christ, I want to work along side fellow believers like yourselves, I know I need a strong community. If any of you are feeling called to Africa missions, please tell me.

If you could pray for me. Pray that I might find stillness. I want to hear God's word. I need to hear God's word.

Amen.

Psalm 46:10

(Sister Leslie)

What do You Think?

Okay, so it is about 11:30 at night...I know, I know, it's not that late to most of you, but for me...whew...very late! So of course, here I am sitting on the couch contemplating just about everything there is to contemplate about! But I was thinking about myself (Yeah, selfish), but okay...think about this. Those who know me, know that I am really shy. Now, I am not always shy but I mostly am. I was thinking about this, and I sometimes hate it. I want to be different. I want to be outgoing and friendly! I mean, most people are "attracted" to outgoing people so it is soooo hard to make friends! I wish I were different sometimes. Is that wrong? Is that bad of me to want to change how God made me? Is there a way to stay shy but still be outgoing? I cannot seem to find that line. Then, there is the other side of this. Do I really need to find a line? What is wrong with being shy? I mean, God did give me this personality, and I think my only motive for wanting to be outgoing is so people will like me (yes, I am one of those people who have a low self-confidence)...Therefore, I think it is wrong. Or is it really? Sorry if I am making no sense at all....I am trying ;-) So back to what I was saying....I think the real question I have for anyone reading this is.....How can I be an affective witness if I do not utter any words? But how do I branch out and talk without changing that particular personality? I just want to show God to people, but I allow this shy thing to stop me, and I am tired of it, to be honest. Any advice? I would love to hear what you guys have to say! Thanks for letting me open my heart to you guys! I think I will try to hit the hay now......Peace.
-Katie-

GOOD FRUIT

2-2-2009


I’m kind of humiliated today. We got the Wii Fit – finally after 10 months of trying to buy the game! So everyone in our family had their turn at it yesterday as we waited for the Super Bowl to start. What’s with the Wii Fit age? I’m a little mad and depressed and embarrassed. I’m only 38 but the stupid computer game tells me I’m 44 – yes, 44! It’s amazing the game didn’t get thrown out my window, but the children would have been horrified and sad, so I exercised, yes that’s right – EXERCISED – self-restraint. Geoff was pretty pleased with himself though. Because you see I’ve always prided myself in marrying a much older man (he’s 5 months my senior ☺!) but now with this new Wii Fit age he’s 9 years younger than me – aaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh! Will I ever live that down?

So it’s the New Year and it’s good think about healthy changes and goals for myself. I guess getting more “fit” physically is right up there. But I was also a little humiliated this morning as I spent time with God and reading the scriptures. And I realized it’s time to get fit with God and his heart and his word. Dare I say – disciplined? Yes, it’s time for me to grow up in the Lord and stop being so childish and lazy. It’s time to bear good fruit and be accountable to my loving Father for my thoughts and actions.

I just started a study with some friends by Joyce Meyer, “Battlefield of the Mind”, it’s a great one! Proverbs 23:7 (KJV) “For as a man thinks in his heart so is he.” She writes, “If our thoughts are going to affect what we become, then it’s a priority that we think right thoughts!... Thoughts bear fruit. Think good thoughts, and the fruit in your life will be good. Think bad thoughts and the fruit in your life will be bad.” One of our problems is that the devil wants to destroy each and every one of us and he starts with whispers of doubts, fear, nagging little thoughts, etc. So we must know how to counteract his attacks. We are to abide in God’s Word – continue learning and growing in the Bible. Praise God always with songs, scripture reading out loud and sharing with others about God’s goodness and his nearness. Jesus is our very best friend! And pray always! Know God’s love and mercy and ask the Holy Spirit to help teach and correct us.

Right thinking is vital to living a victorious life in Christ Jesus! “If you abide in my word you are truly my disciples. And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free! John 8:31 – 32. Today’s a good day to be set free and live in FREEDOM! May I continue growing in God’s Word and his heart of love and bear good fruit for his kingdom!

Serving our mighty God and King together,
Monique Tesarik

Just Thinking....

So I am sitting in Barnes and Nobel. Honestly, this is one of my favorite places to visit! I love books and I love coffee…and guess what? Yeah, they have both! Sometimes it is quiet but other times it is so loud. But I think I do prefer the quiet times. I really can think better. Plus, I am someone who ease drops on other people’s conversations…..I cannot help it…I simply like to observe (that’s what I keep telling myself anyway). Okay, so I am not just writing to say how amazing Barnes and Nobel is or how delicious coffee is. I am writing because I just have some thoughts stirring in my brain. I am not exactly sure of them all myself so I feel bad for you guys who are reading this ;-) As most of you know, I am really shy, but I love to write so I thought I would let you guys get to know me by reading some of my writing. I am not going to list my hobbies, tell you my past, or anything like that. I am just simply letting my family into my heart. It’s just fun ;-)
Okay, so I was reading Matthew 7:24-27. It is the parable about building your house on the rock or sand. I have heard this one so many times, but I never really dug into it. It is so amazing and eye opening! As you know, one person built their house…aka….their life on the sand. Bad idea and very foolish. The sand is all your worldly possessions….pride, money, sex, drugs, hatred, etc. If you put your faith in those things, you will be so disappointed and hurt. They will not protect us. As in the parable, the rain took this house down and it will do the same to our spirit if we do not shift to building our house…..or life….on the rock.
The rock is sturdy! It is strong. Rain comes, but it does not move. This foundation is made solely of Jesus. We can put our trust in Him all the time, and we will not be let down. The people who do this are considered wise. When wind and rain come to destroy us, Jesus is there. We are strong because of Christ. When temptation wants to beat us down we resist because of our foundation. His Words keep us strong!
How beautiful is that?! I think it is so amazing. So beautiful to see how God keeps us going and keeps us strong. So I wrote a poem about this in my journal, I do not usually share these poems….one, they stink…two, they are personal, but I trust you guys so here we go…..

Am I wise or am I foolish?
I think I am the latter.
For possessions tend to be first.
And I think it doesn’t matter
When actually it does.
His Words should rule;
They should always be first.
I will no longer be a fool.
My foundation is You, God.
You are my only strength.
You are my only light.
Foolishness has gone.
It has fled into the night.
-Katie-

Young Women's Christian Association

Just thought I would let everyone know that I got the job working at the YWCA! Thanks for praying and supporting me. I get to work with homeless and foster care kids!

Mission statement:
"The YWCA is committed to the struggle for peace and justice, freedom and dignity for all people... to thrust our collective power toward the elimination of racism wherever it exists."

How AWESOME is that???!

Hope all your weeks are going well and that you are resting in the shalom of Christ.

Ciao belli!
Sister Leslie

PS: I've begun to read through the entire Bible. I have a great article by a Dr. Frost that speaks to the value of a Bible read through. Currently I am trying understand the importance and deeper meaning of Leviticus, if you have any suggestions or understanding send it my way. Thanks!

Grasping Eternity

This week I read a number of things that I think ultimately informed what I can only describe as a brief epiphany. In "Approved unto God" Oswald Chambers writes:

God buries His men in the midst of paltry things, no monuments are erected to them, they are ignored, not because they are unworthy but because they are in the place where they cannot be seen. Who could see Paul in Corinth? Paul only became marvellous[sic] after he had gone. All God's men are ordinary men made extraordinary by the matter He has given them. God puts His workers where He puts His Son. This is the age of the humiliation of the saints.

This hits home because of all of the amazing men and women I know and have had the pleasure to know whose names will never be in the papers. Whose sermons won't be sold on iTunes and whose lives will never be recorded in a book. They all deserve such gratitude, I'm surrounded by giants, and yet in this life they won't receive it.

However "this is the age of the humiliation of the saints," and what's to come is the glorification of our Lord in His fullness. And if we've placed ourselves firmly in Him by his grace we stand only to shine with Him. This comforts me as I see great men and women strive and struggle to further God's kingdom with no hope for respite, this is only a passing moment.

And then it hit me while I was in bed the other night, I'm eternal. Not in the sense that God's omnipresence is eternal, I'm a finite being with a beginning point within His creation. But I'm eternal from this point on, for better or for worse.

Thankfully it's by God's good grace that it's for better through the death of His Son, and it's my privilege to join Him in whatever work He calls me to. And that work will last forever.

It changes ones perspective to realize that this short period of misery and humiliation is only to last for the first few seconds of the rest of eternity. It makes the misery a joy and the humiliation a burden for which I am grateful.

Life holds purpose, eternal purpose, and it's in this short span of time that I must work my hardest to ensure that my actions ripple throughout eternity in a way that will affect it for the better. God is good and though I'm undeserving of what I've been given in every way I'm ultimately all the more grateful for it.